Today, though, I am reminded and overwhelmed of my Savior's love for me. I AM LOVED. It's easy for me to think that I am loved for doing kind things as I turn and walk down the stairs of a friend's house after I drop off a home made meal for them. But today I am reminded that I AM LOVED NO MATTER WHAT. Even after I lose my patience, yell at my kids, gossip, criticize and do all things ugly, I AM LOVED. HE - the creator of the universe, LOVES ME. HE LOVES ME EXTRAVAGANTLY. He doesn't just sort of love me....He loves me so much that He not only died for me, but also CONQUERED death for me. And His love will never change...He won't love me more today and less tomorrow, but more than He did yesterday. HE LOVES ME and that is that.
Monday, May 9, 2011
Restart button
Well, it's been a while since my first entry - why is this blogging thing SO scary to me? I've thought often of it, but have been too gun shy to write here again. Or maybe it's because my third baby arrived last fall and I barely have time to change toilet paper rolls, much less write out my deep, non-coherent thoughts. Seriously, it's a combination of both - being afraid to bare my soul (or at least parts of it) and just not having enough time to do all I want to do.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Supermom
For starters, let me clarify by stating that this is not about ME being a supermom...if anything, it's just my thoughts on the journey of 'mommyhood' and everything in between....and how you'll soon find out I am no supermom!
You know those moms you see in stores, parks and restaurants who are just 'oooing', 'aaahing' and laughing with their babies and seem so genuinely joyful? Well, that's NOT me. I'm actually the mom with two kids, pregnant with our third in less than three years (yep, you do the math...not too much of a break between kiddos!) who gets comments from innocent passersby (mostly older women or young, single girls) about how precious my children are - and depending on what kind of day it's been, I either feel like punching them or giving them some dissertation on what hard work my kids, though precious they may be, are! Yep, I'm that mom who will tell it to you like it is and I'll admit, is a bit jealous of those moms previously mentioned who seem to be in utter bliss with 'mommyhood'. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and know how incredibly blessed we are. But being a stay at home for me is not natural, to say the least.
I was never into babies growing up, never babysat and never hoped to be a stay at home mom. If someone had told me that at age 31 I would be pregnant with my third (did I mention in less than THREE years??) I would have laughed. Since I graduated college I have loved working - it's what I'm good at, what I enjoy, usually what I find fulfilling and in what I honestly believe God has gifted me. I am predominantly type A, good at multitasking, adventurous, athletic, detail oriented and love accomplishing a task! What I didn't anticipate is that my love for working and having a job would be outweighed by my desire to raise my children at home. Seriously, who would have thought????
My parents, both hard working immigrants, had no choice but to both work - I have absolutely no resentment or feel like I missed out at all in childhood because of this. I have tremendous respect for how hard they worked just to provide a house to live in and food to eat. I only now recognize just how much they sacrificed to raise me in America. I was your classic 'latchkey' kid - literally, I wore a key around my neck at school! And so, I don't judge any other moms as less than supermoms or judge their worthiness of being moms if they work or send their children to daycare or have nannies, etc. Just for whatever reason, only God knows, I have chosen to stay at home to raise our kids (though I dream multiple times a day of the job I could have right now and how I would of course, be kicking butt at it! :) Seriously, my dream job would include a gun, chasing bad guys, being able to do more pull ups than most other guys or just managing your everyday emergency situation all while still being a girl - Miss Congeniality, anyone??).
So, this blog is just a reflection of my thoughts on the journey of mommyhood and how it's so much harder than anyone told you (or maybe I just didn't listen). For all you supermoms out there (yes, it's okay to admit it...I KNOW a SUPERMOM when I see one!) - KUDOS to you. Seriously, thank the Lord there are people like you in this world! Maybe if you read this you can either post some tips or be encouraged, knowing that you rock at being a mom. For the rest of the moms out there - working, stay at home, expectant, on-your-way-to-being-a-supermom - I hope this may provide some comic relief and perhaps just a distraction that you might have needed. :)
More to come.....
You know those moms you see in stores, parks and restaurants who are just 'oooing', 'aaahing' and laughing with their babies and seem so genuinely joyful? Well, that's NOT me. I'm actually the mom with two kids, pregnant with our third in less than three years (yep, you do the math...not too much of a break between kiddos!) who gets comments from innocent passersby (mostly older women or young, single girls) about how precious my children are - and depending on what kind of day it's been, I either feel like punching them or giving them some dissertation on what hard work my kids, though precious they may be, are! Yep, I'm that mom who will tell it to you like it is and I'll admit, is a bit jealous of those moms previously mentioned who seem to be in utter bliss with 'mommyhood'. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my kids and know how incredibly blessed we are. But being a stay at home for me is not natural, to say the least.
I was never into babies growing up, never babysat and never hoped to be a stay at home mom. If someone had told me that at age 31 I would be pregnant with my third (did I mention in less than THREE years??) I would have laughed. Since I graduated college I have loved working - it's what I'm good at, what I enjoy, usually what I find fulfilling and in what I honestly believe God has gifted me. I am predominantly type A, good at multitasking, adventurous, athletic, detail oriented and love accomplishing a task! What I didn't anticipate is that my love for working and having a job would be outweighed by my desire to raise my children at home. Seriously, who would have thought????
My parents, both hard working immigrants, had no choice but to both work - I have absolutely no resentment or feel like I missed out at all in childhood because of this. I have tremendous respect for how hard they worked just to provide a house to live in and food to eat. I only now recognize just how much they sacrificed to raise me in America. I was your classic 'latchkey' kid - literally, I wore a key around my neck at school! And so, I don't judge any other moms as less than supermoms or judge their worthiness of being moms if they work or send their children to daycare or have nannies, etc. Just for whatever reason, only God knows, I have chosen to stay at home to raise our kids (though I dream multiple times a day of the job I could have right now and how I would of course, be kicking butt at it! :) Seriously, my dream job would include a gun, chasing bad guys, being able to do more pull ups than most other guys or just managing your everyday emergency situation all while still being a girl - Miss Congeniality, anyone??).
So, this blog is just a reflection of my thoughts on the journey of mommyhood and how it's so much harder than anyone told you (or maybe I just didn't listen). For all you supermoms out there (yes, it's okay to admit it...I KNOW a SUPERMOM when I see one!) - KUDOS to you. Seriously, thank the Lord there are people like you in this world! Maybe if you read this you can either post some tips or be encouraged, knowing that you rock at being a mom. For the rest of the moms out there - working, stay at home, expectant, on-your-way-to-being-a-supermom - I hope this may provide some comic relief and perhaps just a distraction that you might have needed. :)
More to come.....
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